Monday, November 16, 2009

Miscarrige in Today's World

I just finished reading an article about Celine Dion having a miscarriage and then people were free to post comments about the article.
Reading through the comments I was struck by the diversity of opinion but even more so by the ways such opinions were passionately attacked and defended.
What saddened me more was how many people were quick to judge her for longing to have a second child at 41years and by IVF; people calling for her to get over herself, to adopt, saying her eggs were to old and her body could not carry another pregnancy because of her age. I don't even feel the need to defend her but I feel the need to comment on the attitude that makes it so difficult to talk about miscarriage.

  • How am I supposed to grieve the loss of a child I wanted and loved even without knowing when you make me feel that it makes me a selfish, spoiled child?
  • Why should I be able to tell you about my miscarriage if, instead of saying "I'm so sorry for your loss", you say. "you can always have another/haven't you considered adoption?"
  • How can I experience the catharsis of talking about what happened to me if you feel it is "yucky" and "TMI"?

I really think we need more voices to speak out and change the wrong attitude that stigmatises a legitimate loss thus hindering the ability to heal.