About "What If?" and "If Only"

After a miscarriage it is so easy to wonder "What if...?" and to wish "If only..."

• "What if I had stopped exercising?"
• "If only I didn't stress myself so much at work ".
• "What if I hadn't had sex that day?"
• "If only I didn"t drink so much coffee/wine."

Helen Jaeger, in Paths through Grief offers much-needed insight. She says, " We do not live in alternative worlds where other outcomes are possible. We live here, we live now and, when we are grieving, we live in pain."

Pause and think on that a moment. Then forgive yourself, let go and live free.

A Poem to Share

JESUS, IS HE WITH YOU?
Jesus is he with you?
I wonder every day
I sit and wonder why he's gone
And why he could not stay

Every part of me is empty
I feel I can't go on
But when I look to heaven
I hear this beautiful song

Mommy I am with him
He holds me in his arms
When every I am with him
He keeps me safe and warm

He says you shouldn't worry
I am safe and loved right here
With all the other baby angels
That passed within the years

We have a special place up here
He thought that you should know
Where the Blessed Mother takes your place
For now until you show

When I hear this precious little voice
From the heavens above
I know that all the angels
Are showering him with love

For everyone that wants to hear
Their babies voice so innocent and sweet
Just close your eyes and begin to pray
And embrace them in your sleep.

(c) Angela Gibson All Rights Reserved

Risk Factors In Miscarriage (3)

These are factors that the researchers found had no impact on the risk of having a miscarriage.
· Pregnancy history – the order of the pregnancy i.e. whether the pregnancy was your first, second etc or the time between two pregnancies (i.e. if it was a short interval) regardless of prior outcome.
· Physical stress – working full time, standing or sitting for more than 6hours a day, lifting heavy objects or people (e.g. your children or pets), strenuous exercise are not associated with a poor pregnancy outcome.
· Social class or level of education.
· Occasional alcohol or moderate caffeine consumption were not associated with increased risk. However, you are advised to cut out alcohol, cigarettes and strictly limit caffeine when you are pregnant.
At the end of the day, one can only hope and pray that everything goes well when you are pregnant. Hopefully, more research will be done into this matter so that we learn more and be able to do more.

Just Checking In

I feel really bad that I haven't updated my blog in a while. There have been some issues with my Internet and even now I'm having difficulty uploading the final part of my article on the risk factors in miscarriage.

I am also working on designing a free e-newsletter for doctors where they can receive regular updates and guidelines to promote good practice and I'm hopeful that it will have many subscribers and make the desired impact on the lives of women in Nigeria.

I will try again to post the final part of my article on risk factors.