Friday, August 14, 2009

Tears

"When tears come, I breathe deeply and rest. I know I am swimming in a hallowed stream, where many have gone before. I am not alone, crazy or having a nervous breakdown. My heart is at work. My soul is awake." - Margaret Frik.



After my miscarriage, I wrote in my journal, "I finally know what a broken heart feels like." I cried all the way to the hospital and sobbed as the diagnosis was confirmed. I wept so much that I finally slept off on the hospital bed from sheer exhaustion.

Sadly, by the time I got home, I found that there was no one I felt safe enough with to lose control, let go and let the tears flow. My whole family felt so bad for me and the couple of people that saw me cry were so uncomfortable that I decided to smile and be strong. Isn't that what the song says, "Smile when your heart is breaking"? I don't agree with that song anymore.

When you cry, really cry and let the tears flow, it is the best thing you can do for your grieving heart. You're still dealing with a loss, your womb may still be empty but the tears will do you a world of good.

I like to visualise tears from a broken heart like water on a broken up soil: it makes the soil moist and ready to receive seeds and produce beauty. your heart may be broken but so much beauty can be realised if you let the tears fall. Don't be ashamed to cry; and if you're like me and can't find anyone with whom you feel free enough to soak their shirt with your tears and snot, then turn to the Divine Comforter (who, while he was on earth, wasn't ahsamed to weep in public when he lost his friend) and just cry.

Tears. They are a precious gift. Don't despise them. Don't be afraid of them. Embrace them and let them embrace you.

1 comment:

  1. love this blog. it is humble I think that what strikes me the most about it. It counters what the baby/preggers world is. It is so in your face so out there it screams looks at me I am pregnant and eventually look at my I have a baby. The women and families who who are involved in this it is not their faults. It is just the way that it is. It bigger than them it is really the way society is. The problem with this is that it does not allowe any room for the opposite of this women and families that have had a loss. There has not been a place created to acknowledge this grief or society has no idea how to help us grieve. It is a societal defecit, but I do not see society willing to work on this. Tears are a good thing I think a sign of strenght

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