A lot goes into the decision to try for another pregnancy after you have experienced a loss. First of all, it is important to be in the best possible state of health (physically) before you try to conceive. This means that your blood work has returned to normal and your doctor has given you a clean bill of health. The time all this will take depends on how far along the pregnancy was in the first place and all, if any, procedures that were used in the management of the loss.
More importantly though, your heart has to be in the right place before you try again. For some women, trying again can be a form of therapy helping them to move on. For others, the pain of the loss and sometimes of knowing that there was nothing that could have been done to prevent it, makes it harder to even consider trying again for another pregnancy and risking heartbreak and loss again.
Do not neglect to include your partner and his feelings because he has suffered a loss too. It helps to be open with one another and to be on the same page so that you can support each other.
No matter what you decide, it is important to stay hopeful and positive and maintain a great support network to see you through what will most likely be the scary months of pregnancy.
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I have had 2 losses ( one July 08 and Nov 08) ( both early on 6 and 8 weeks.) and the worst thing is everyone else life goes on and yours just stay the same. friends, co workers, the waitress that works at the coffee shop all have babies and big round baby bumps. My best friend just had a little girl in May and I couldn't be more happy for her, but I just can't be friends with her for now anyhow. Too painful I would have had my baby from the second lose about a month after her baby. I am obessed with seeing pregnant women.Look for baby bumps all the time. I am just the invisible person dealing with all this sadness and having to pretend to be happy to go throgh life.I am suprised how hard it hit me and how much I still feel it after it has been a year after the first one. And in reality I think it is because we are so groomed to be baby focused in society it is hugh. so a lose is deemed as failure even though we know in reality women or their partners did nothing to create the lose. ( This angers me as it is Just unlucky really.)even the language that is used implies that especially the woman did something wrong "she lost the baby." I dislike that term .In reality the baby died and she did not do anything to cause it.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow I am sort of a lost soul just floating out there looking for support and I found this blog and though neat.
We are trying again it been 2 months and I am very fearful, fearful that I will not get pregant again, fearful of another lose, fearful the lose will happen later on, fearful because I have hypertesion ( controlled). The list goes on and on. anyhow I am just looking for tips and toold and ideas to stay sane
I am so sorry for your losses. I kow exactly how u feel. After my miscarriage anytime I saw a pregnant woman I just wanted to cry at how unfair it all was. It got so bad that I didn't even want to leave the house. I pray ur next try will be successful...it's normal to be scared and all I can say is I hope my blog will give you some light in this dark time.
ReplyDeletethanks so much for your kind words. I will keep checking back in your blog. you people have told me to look online for support, but I didn't find alot out there. I would love to find an online chat group for women who have had loses? do you know of anything?
ReplyDeletecheck the babycentre website. I think the online group is called "coping with miscarriage" and they were a lifeline when i had to cope with my loss as i had no one to talk to.
ReplyDeletedo you know what the web address is for that is?
ReplyDelete