The uniqueness of a miscarriage

Every person is different and was created unique. And so, when a woman has a miscarriage, her experience is as unique as she is. You cannot predict what the miscarriage process will be like for her and you cannot predict what her feelings will be after the miscarriage.

Bearing this in mind, it is therefore very important to avoid projecting your expectations on the woman on how she should deal with the loss. Some women hate the idea of a D&C and would rather miscarry naturally while others will rather have the pregnancy end once and for all than endure days of bleeding and a prolonged good-bye. Some women are relieved when their pregnancies end, others feel a sense of loss that eases with time while still others deal with heightened feelings of depression, anxiety and guilt for much longer.

If we are going to offer support and encourage complete healing after a miscarriage then we should acknowledge and respect each mother's autonomy and the uniqueness of her experience; that miscarriage is common doesn't mean we should make it common.